Last night was the dumbest thing. That’s why you don’t send nasty messages to your roommate, or else you don’t get to have internet because guess what it’s legally in my name and I pay for it. Such a temper tantrum bec they were offended that I had no fucking idea what to do about a roommate who…
Ha, you mistake some mischief for a temper tantrum while I can assure you there’s no temper on my end, only yours. At this point I’m playing with you. I think this whole thing is hilarious and it clearly upsets you way more than me. Also sorry hunny, but just cause your name is on it doesn’t mean jack-shit. I pay just as much as you have, both for the hardware and the monthly bills. Or by your logic, my name is on the gas and hydro. So you better stop taking showers and making food.
With the exception of sleep, I’m on campus for the majority of the day. Cause I’m not taking joke academics that have what? 8 hours a week of class? Not having internet at home really ain’t much of an issue for me. Besides it took you a ridiculous 3-4 weeks to set it up in the first place, had it installed in the worst place possible in the house, then had me and Andrew try it set it up. Yes you have your ‘name’ on it. That’s it. It’s barely functional anyways.
Slamming doors? That’s just cause I think it’s humorous, I too can be passive aggressive and immature. You’re just a giant joke. Freud would have loved documenting your projection, perfect textbook case. At least when I’m an asshole I know I’m an asshole, but I know introspection doesn’t come naturally to you.
So what do you do when you’re not friends with a roommate and they don’t contribute or communicate, not even toilet paper? You ask them. Oh wait, I can’t, because that makes me a bitch right? I feel like taking everything away, like the towels and bathroom mats that i wash by myself and toilet…
Nah, instead you passively aggressively bitch about him to the internet and your friends. Then we all have a jolly good laugh at your expense :D. I’ve never been anything but open to discussion, yet you choose to be passive aggressive then get your panties in a bunch when someone tries to resolve any issues with you face to face. Don’t worry. I don’t lose any sleep over you. Also I’m not sure if I’ve ever called you a bitch. Just delusional and crazy. But oh my god. Not buying toilet paper. That’s so much worse than harassing a roommate so much that they opt to move out. but I get it. You always have to have someone that you can be angry at and blame. Your mom, Dylan, Peter, now me. Funniest part is everything you complain about when you do call your mom crazy is the exact same things that you do, but of course you wouldn’t be able to see that.
You do realize that literally all our close mutual friends actually laugh at you right? Except Sean. Sean’s a sweetheart and is too busy with Lindsay to care about your problems.
Unless they deal with a life-threatening trauma, triggers are dumb. People should deal with their fears, not hide from them.
A little over 4 years ago my best friend Tru died at the age of 26. He had a bad heart and it was very sudden. I was very depressed for many months. I closed in on myself and shut out the world. My medication couldn’t handle my emotional state and for a while I was hopelessly lost.
Eventually I started to accept his death. Time passed and each day got a little easier to bear. I opened back up and started communicating with the outside again. And just when I thought I had a handle on things, I would see or hear something that reminded me of my friend. In an instant I would be brought to tears and feel as if I hadn’t made any progress at all.
More time passed and my coping skills became more robust. Previously I could find a way for just about anything to trigger my sadness but eventually that improved too. My mind stopped making the more illogical and random connections to him. The things that reminded me of him made more sense and were a little more expected.
However, to this day, whenever I see the word true or tru, it is a little punch of sadness right in my gut. Nothing I can’t handle, but still not pleasant. Whenever I see a space invader it can be more intense, because that was the avatar he used for everything.
And then the other day Tumblr sent me this email…
This was a blog that he and I ran together.
I broke down sobbing. It took me a good 20 minutes to compose myself. It reminded me of how many years it’s been since he was no longer in my life. It’s been a few days and it is still bothering me.
I did not experience life threatening trauma. I think I did a pretty damn good job of dealing with my pain and facing it head on. But the sturdiest of minds can crumble with the right trigger. Fears, phobias, anxieties, sadness… they change your brain forever. They leave cracks behind in your mental defenses. Little areas that are vulnerable no matter what you do. Triggers are not dumb. Sometimes they cannot be fixed. And if people want to take a few precautions so they don’t have a breakdown when searching a website, I think that is quite prudent.
So, I dealt with my fear… but damn… I really wish I hadn’t gotten that email.